It's a shame

  • It's a shame how mean I really am. I just can't get over my absurdly large amounts of mean manners. I could just go kill a civilization with my bitter harsh attitude. One day I hope I can be as Christ was. Full of love and the ability to be kind and well mannered.
  • It's a shame that I don't have guard up about anything. I just go with it. I don't stop myself so I always get hurt.
  • I hate how I don't like letting people get to know me.. You would think because I don't have guards about, I would be more willing to let people get to know me. NO.
  • I am scared of the future.
  • I hate getting my hopes up to eventually get shot down.
  • I hate being scared.
  • I hate admitting when I'm wrong.
  • I hate saying things that I know I will regret later.
  • I hate second guessing things.
  • I hate feeling vulnerable.
  • I hate hate hate that I hate so much.

I am scared. I don't know what I'm doing. Nor, what I am going to do. I need to have a guard up. I need to understand that I am doing what I think is best for me.

Letter to myself,

Don't be scared. You are great. I love you :)

Love,
Me

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