Last Sunday I challenged the Young Women to read their Book of Mormons for 20 minutes everyday. Un-naturally, I took their challenge for myself. I study the scriptures, listened to conference talks, watched Mormon Messages... I threw myself into studying the gospel and it was absolutely FANTASTIC! Heavenly Father has so much for us to learn if only we look for it. I have been looking for it and BOY has he been blessing me with those little snippets of paradise. Knowledge is power. The Spirit dwells with those who study the scriptures. I have felt that love, peace, comfort, joy, happiness, sadness, frustration that the scriptures can bring. Love for our Savior, comfort from the spirit, sadness for those who hardened their hearts and refused to repent, frustration that God literally spoke to them and they didn't want to hear it (Helaman has me feelin some type of way). Spiritually it has been an eye opening week.
I have the ability to suppress memories--as I assume you do too. There are things that happened and things I did as a wee lad, and even recent, that I have repented for (I think) and prayed to forget as Christ has done so already. But, it isn't that easy. When I feel like I'm on top of the world and nothing can bring me down, something (inevitably) brings me down... and most of the time, it is a memory of the past. Like right now, as I type this, I'm having floods of unwanted images and feelings taking over my brain and it causes so much anxiety. Why? Why does this happen? Is it the Father telling me that I haven't fully repented for those things? Why is it only certain times that these thoughts and impressions of negative memories come to me? MEH.
This semester I took a calculus class. It is so hecka hard. AND, I'm getting a C in the class for the semester. I can't blame anyone but myself for it. It is an online class, I have SO MUCH time to do the assignments, the teacher is always there to help... I just didn't take advantage of it or have the desire to until the last week of the semester. Hahaha. If I can keep my GPA above a 3.5, I'm happy. I can still bring it up... RIGHT? Poop face Hannah, poop face!
I have two warts on my left foot and ankle that I am in the process of removing... They are the nastiest things in the world.
I cut 7 inches of my hair off. Refreshing.
My boss cried to my this week, sorta, and told me I was such a blessing to her. Yeah right Marvella, you are a blessing to ME!
My mind is frustrating me. Somethings gotta give.
Ps- I didn't feel like proofreading this... And, I'm not going to. Cuz, I still don't feel like it.
SO JUDGE ME. I DARE YOU.
SO JUDGE ME. I DARE YOU.