Near and Dear

I have changed my mind as to what I want to say at least 3 times this morning; but, I know whatever I say is what is needed on this quaint little blog of mine. Whatever is written in the space below is indeed so very near and dear to my heart... It is what makes me Hannah and for that, I am grateful.
 
Words aren't coming to me. I have nothing worthwhile to say. So, I will go with my natural instincts.


|| Jesus Christ ||
is my happy
 I just love my Savior, Jesus Christ, so very much. I KNOW more than anything in this whole big wide world that He is the Savior of the world. He loves us. He wants us to turn to Him and RUN as fast as we can to the safety of His embrace. Isn't that the most beautiful knowledge in the world? To know that we have such a loving and perfect big brother, best friend, and confidant to always be there when we need help?
These past couple of weeks my heart has been heavy, my body hurty, my mind busy and my feelings jumbled. I have been dealing with the very lows of depression and anxiety. But, He takes away the hurt. He takes away the frustration. He heals the sad heart. He allows for changes to be made. He helps me to become the very best Hannah I can. Depression, anxiety, feelings of inadequacy, anger, annoyance, sadness, pain, loneliness... HE TAKES IT ALL!!!
Through our Savior's love and His infinite Atonement, I am healed.
I am so blessed.
SO INCREDIBLY BLESSED.

1,300 Days

Once upon a time, I wrote a little post by the name of “Time.” It goes as follows:

Monday, October 29, 2012

Time
Time is of the essence. It is ticking by at a rate in which I can't decide is one that I like. I don't know whether I want it to hurry up or stay right at the nice pace it's at so I can cherish these fun days that I'm having. La di da da ha! I just don't even know. 
In 21 days, I will have waited over 17 months to see what happens with a certain idea, a certain bit of inspiration, a little bit of personal revelation if you must. Yes? I don't know if I'm ready though. I'm not. I know I'm not. 17 months ago I decided I want to be a certain person and act a certain way... 17 months ago I was pleading and begging the Father to let time go by quickly. Now as I sit here, I don't know if I really want this to end. This learning time that I've been experiencing.  I have grown up a whole bunch, my sarcasm is still in its prime, but am I really prepared to embark on this new journey?
So if the faith that I've been working on these last 17 months lets me down, it will be a really sad day in the wonderful life of me.  However, I don't think that the Lord puts promptings and inspirations into our lives and let's dwell on them if they aren't what we are supposed to know.


Then, I revisited said post in a little entry titled “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood!” And, it went a little something like this:

Friday, July 11, 2014

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood!
"In 21 days, I will have waited over 17 months to see what happens with a certain idea, a certain bit of inspiration, a little bit of personal revelation if you must. Yes? I don't know if I'm ready though. I'm not. I know I'm not. 17 months ago I decided I want to be a certain person and act a certain way... 17 months ago I was pleading and begging the Father to let time go by quickly. Now as I sit here, I don't know if I really want this to end. This learning time that I've been experiencing.  I have grown up a whole bunch, my sarcasm is still in its prime, but am I really prepared to embark on this new journey?"

I wrote this little snippet of life in October of 2012. BOY OH BOY-- have things changed or what?

That Heavenly Father of ours sure does know the ways to my heart. He is the very best friend that anyone could have. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted 2 years ago. But, I didn't. I was just struck by love and wanted nothing more than to have someone love me. LAMMMMEEEE!!!! I don't need that! I don't need someone to say "Oh, Hannah, you are just so hot and I love you and it's not just because you have big boobs, I swear..." But, like any hormonal 16-17 year old, that is what I wanted.

Gag me with a spoon.

I am grateful that Heavenly Father has a plan. I've been talking about that plan a whole bunch lately... I think it's because I'm finally starting to REALLY REALLY REALLY realize that everything that the Father wants to happen, will in fact happen. It is just up to me to be ready, worthy and willing to accept His plan.

I swear I'm not just referring to being madly in love with a smokin hot babe of a man who is a worthy priesthood holder and loves snuggles and sushi as much as me... I'm just talking about the man that will be my very best friend for eternities, the man that loves Christ and His restored church more than physically possible and the man that loves me for the beautiful daughter of God that I am.

I can wait for that. I am okay with waiting.

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, friends!

"With God on our side we cannot fail... we will be VICTORIOUS!"

TODAY: I’m going to revisit all of it.

Since October 29, 2012 it has been exactly 800 days. Now add roughly 17 months (16 months and 13 days) and you have a grand total of (487+13) 500 long as heck days. Put it all together and we come up with 1,300 days.

1,300 days…31,200 hours.

31,200 hours…1,872,000 minutes.

1,872,000 minutes…112,320,000 seconds.

Well isn’t that eventful? 112,320,000 seconds ago I thought I had figured everything in life out. I received a certain piece of personal revelation that would change my life for eternities, my children’s life for eternities, EVERYONE’S life would be different because of what I had come to terms with.

Gals and fellas that is not the case. I know that now more than anything… God gives us little snippets of information to catch our attention and ask us to change or reform our ways. That is what He gave me 1,300 days ago. The opportunity to change and become the best Hannah known to man is what I was given. 

No 17 year old girl knows who she is going to marry, what she is going to be when she grows up, how many kids she will have, what car she will drive... She knows nothing about what the future will hold because it is always changing! I knew nothing. I still know nothing. But, I am learning and its great.

How amazing it is to realize how much you have changed within a short few years? ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!

I am not the same Hannah that I was in October of 2012 or July of 2014. I am different. COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! Why? Because, God gives us the opportunity to change and be different; the opportunity to drop the old and begin with the new.

I am grateful for His love and His mercy and for His Son's Atonement. The ability to be happy is because of HIM.

OH HAPPY DAY!